I work with someone who is the most beautiful woman I've ever met. In ten years I have never seen her have a bad hair day, a blemish, or look like she got ready in a hurry. She loves her job and her life and it shows.

Every time I see her, I think, "wow, she looks so happy."

I wonder what people say when they see me? Most of the time I feel half put together, tired and overwhelmed but eager to start the day.

It wasn't always that way.

And I wonder when things changed.

And I wonder what I need to do to get that sense of joy back into my life.

I want other people to see me and know that I am content, happy and ready to take on the world.

I want my kids to see me each day and know how glad I am to see them and how anxious I am to help them learn something new.

But if I don't sleep well, or are worrying about something, it shows.

I think I've figured out the problem: I've given so much to other people that there hasn't been much left for me.

It's hard to do for yourself when you've been told your whole life how selfish you are. I've never felt selfish and believe I give more of myself, my energy and my talent to others than most people I know.

But what about me?

As summer looms ahead, my focus is changing. This summer will be about me.

I've signed up to be a volunteer at the hospital in my area. I'm excited to go and help brighten the days of others. When I'm doing for others, I'm not worried about me. I need that.

This summer will be a chance for me to write down all of the ideas that I've been storing in my head. I finally feel like I am ready to get another book underway and I know that this process will allow me to free myself of other, painful parts of my past.

This summer will be about re-newing friendships. I've done a horrible job this year of reaching out to the people in my life. For some reason I've chosen solitude over companionship, and I see now what a void I created.

This summer will be about running and feeding the ducks and taking care of my body better. I feel the best when I can exercise on a regular basis and I'm ready for a chance to get back into the groove.

And finally, this summer will be about nurturing my spirit. I am actively seeking out opportunities to "fill my cup" and I know I will be better for it.

I hope that when school begins again people will look at me and and say how happy and healthy I look.

I want my outside to match my inside.

Finally, I am strong enough to make that happen. Amazing!

tags: attitude, confidence, mental health, optimism, outlook, physical health, self-esteem, spirituality